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If he was lucky, someone would need a toilet break in the night.Then, under cover of darkness, he'd throw himself in the room like a four-legged ninja.Then I had to bolster the defences with a suitcase.When he managed to get through that, I bought a rubber door stop, which I now wedge under the door.Our cosy evenings on the sofa by the fireside have also become a thing of the past.
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One night a few weeks ago I thought Alvin had left the room, so I sidled up to Stephanie for a cuddle. In a flash, he climbed up it and then launched himself at me like a feline Exocet missile.
I still have the faint scars on my cheek and forehead from the onslaught.
He has learned to open drawers, but the only ones he ransacks are mine - Stephanie's remain untouched.
A week ago, he opened the key drawer, found my car key and chewed the buttons off the control bit of it.
'If you have to get one, get that one; the others look like they've been drugged,' I advised.